Power, Decision making, and Pre-marital inventories

Over break, I took time to talk to both of my parent's about the premarital inventory they did (with the guidance of their Catholic Priest) as well as power and decision making. At first, they jokingly said that they "Ace-d" the inventory, but then became more serious as they talked about how they grew up in the same town knowing the same groups of people, so they really went into the relationship having similar backgrounds. What stands out about this, and a lot of what the premarital inventories seem to do, is that the whole idea of "opposites attract" probably shouldn't be interpreted to mean that "opposites attract and form long lasting relationships." When two people have similar backgrounds, they probably have beliefs that will help put them on the same page, which is important when working through the problems that come up in marriage. Also, it seems that we could probably say that "opposites attract, but don't stay opposite forever." I say this because as a couple learns more about one another, they should work to become increasingly on the same page.

Another interesting topic that came up when talking with my parents was the power and types of influence that come up in decision making. My dad always jokes about my mom having more power by saying, "I make all the BIG decisions. There hasn't been a BIG decision yet." The humor in this joke stems from the fact that all decisions are made after discussions, and different types of influence have an effect on the final outcome. Also, decisions aren't always made in an easy/quick/yes or no way. When different types of influence come into play, there are different ideas that each partner needs to think about before jumping ahead to a final choice.