Decisions in Marriage

Tuesdays lecture on decisions in marriage really got me thinking about my parents. Growing up, whenever one of my siblings or I had a question, no matter what it was we never went directly through my father. We always asked our mother and she’d always tell us we’d get a decision after she thought it over. What she really meant to say was, she had to go ask our father. For some reason everything always went through my father, but never directly. It was normal for us kids to go through my mother, but we always knew she would ask my dad. I don’t know if whether my dad felt uncomfortable with setting rules with us or not. I believe it was because my mother was always home with the kids considering she was a stay at home mother. I think my father thought it was best that she told us all the rules in the house. My father was always working, so in the time he was home he wanted to be “nice guy.”
On another note, decisions in marriage also in a way relates to decisions in relationships. In my long term relationship, it was never said out loud who holds the most power, but I think at this point in time we share power equally. We both use all six sources of influence on a daily basis. Although I believe I have a tendency to use referent influence more often. Sometimes it is a power struggle, because I here my fiancé and me pointing our each others faults. Most times however we work together so as not to take personal stabs at each other.