Guest Speaker

I enjoyed the guest speaker on Tuesday. He was so energetic and funny! It really brought life to what he was presenting, despite the topic being dreary. It was depressing to know that a homeless man, the artist, who had so much talent wasn't able to share that with more people. I personally, would pay money for some of his work. As an artist, I personally, enjoy seeing all forms of art and what I say, I liked..a lot!

It was just so sad to know that some homeless are victims of abuse and neglect. I mean, I knew that some were, but the reality of it and just hearing actual stories is just something else. It's not just knowing, it's hearing it from someone who has witnessed it and dealt with it. It was depressing, but his attitude made it, I don't want to say fun, but for lack of a better word, fun to learn about this stuff. His humor made it less like a lecture.

Anyway, I just really enjoyed his energy. I would find it hard to work with the homeless and not be depressed and just lose all sense of humor after working with them for so long.

Events lead to homelessness... not choice

The message that I took home after Tuesday's lecture with Chris was that homeless people don't choose to be homeless, something put them there. It became very clear why we see meth linked to the homeless. I was shocked by some of the stories about encounters Chris has had but I think what he does is really great. It's easy to look at a homeless person and think, "what a bum," but there are few people that really take into consideration the events that must have led the homeless person to the point they are at now. I admire Chris for being able to see past what so many of us are too ignorant to acknowledge. I definitely learned a thing or two by his good example and I will lend a helping hand or give direction to "at risk" youth if it means fewer people would be subject to such a devastating lifestyle as homelessness is. 

Sir, you're truly grossing me out...kind...of...!

I reallllly enjoyed the speaker that came on Tuesday. I enjoyed that he did not "sugar coat" the information and just gave it to us straight. I mean, the whole meth thing really caught my attention. Not because I am an avid meth user--or a meth user at all ha-- or anything, but good Lord some of the stuff he was talking about-- ahhh! EATING SCABS?! Whhyyy!! But learning about these things truly puts into perspective how lucky we all really are. I mean (I hope) no one in the class is a runaway and we are all getting a college education, apparently we've got our families down to a science! (Haaa, get it?) His discussion reminded me of a book I read called Bright Shiny Morning by James Frey (Yeah the guy who lied about A Million Little Piece, nonetheless this book is good READ IT!) and in the book there are sections about a homeless man, and I made a quick connection in my head between the two. And to me, a lot of the discussion took me back to the attachment theory. Well ALL IN ALL, I really enjoyed it. PLUS, he had a sweet Misfits tattoo. Who are The Misfits you may ask? Shame on you is all I will reply.

Guest Speaker

wow! I really enjoyed the presentation on Tuesday. He was very enthusiastic and passionate about his job, and it showed. For anyone who will be working with kids and families, it is important to understand the reasons why children leave the home and what can influence it. Homelessness is a very serious issue, and should not be overlooked or shrugged off as something that does not exist where we live. The stereotypes that we have developed about the homeless should be broken down in order for us to make strides to confront the issue.

Ceders

On Tuesday we had a speaker Chris and he is a very good speaker because I think he gets his point across. I have actually have head him speak before this semester in my Sped 201 class and thought he was great then. He seems not to lecture at us because he has been in the position that we have.
I founding it interesting at how much at risk youth there are in Lincoln and they crazy stories and things he sees that happens around here. I think he got across that fact that you can have a hard life but also turn it around too. Also that try you best not to judge because you do not know everyone situation.

Cedars

Chris's lecture on Tuesday was very interesting. He went a little fast and I couldn't take notes but he was full of energy and used great personal stories and included pictures. It really opened my eyes as to what is going on here in Lincoln right under our noses. His lecture made me think of a man I met while working at the Love Library. This man is an older gentleman and I always see him outside digging through the dumpsters and collecting bottles. He spends most of the days in the library in the new periodical room and this lecture has given me possibly an insight into what his life might be like. It's great that there are resources out there like Cedars to help struggling people.

Adoption

We talked about adoption in class. I am really interested in adopting a child when I am older. It was nice to hear Dr. Hollist's perspective of adopting internationally. I really want to do that. I understand it will be very hard. I just think it is one of the best things you can do for a child. It's amazing and I really want to be apart of it. I think it would be very difficult to adopt a child with special needs. It would be difficult to adjust with an adopted child period, but a child with special needs would be challenge. I think it takes really special people to be able to do that. I have a lot of respect for them. Hopefully in my future I will be able to adopt my own child.

Risk youth and homelessness

The lecture on tuesday was very interesting. Chris Webster was very different than the average guest speaker for a collegiate class. I could relate to him pretty easily however. I have ADD that is similar to ADHD and I can understand why he acts the way he does and why this caused him problems in school. I was diagnosed in second grade and elementry school was already very difficult for me with bullies and things but the problems with the academics was very tough as well. My main difficulty was with remembering things and staying focused for any length of time. I was on teh medication through to middle school but in seventh grade I stopped taking it because I did not like the way they made me feel which I am sure Chris experienced as well. The medications are stimulants for everybody else but for people with ADD or ADHD, stimulants such as Aderal or Ridilin have the opposite effect similar to a depresent. These can cause many different side effects and the main ones I personally experienced were sever appetite suppresion and deep depression. By not taking the medication, I had to learn ways on my own to keep myself focused and to figure out different ways to try and remember information and assignments. I still have difficulties with it but I would much rather have my current situation than the feeling of the side effects of the medication.

SOS speaker Chris Webster

Tuesday’s class was very interesting considering we had a very unique speaker. I thought that Chris Webster did an excellent job explaining the programs offered at Ceders Street Outreach Services (SOS). His lecture made me realize even more just how much I want to work with troubled youth. As a child I wish that I had access to some of the programs offered by Cerders. I, myself would have been considered an “at risk youth.” I struggled with my families unrealistic expectations. I had conflict with authority. I even lost interest in positive/productive activities. I could probably list a dozen other things I struggled with as a teenager but what my point is, is that I had problems with no where and no one to turn to. I eventually got involved in another program which Chris briefly discussed which was Big Brother Big Sisters program. This program helped me to become a better person. The big sister I was matched with is still one of the closest people I know.
I thought it was great how Chris Webster approached the issues he presented. He didn’t sugar coat any problem or question through out the entire class. It was more shocking to find to see the pictures of where the homeless teens live on the streets. To be honest I had know idea that we even had a population of homeless teens in the Lincoln area. I also found it interesting how statistics showed that in most cases girls ran away more often times than boys. It made sense after Chris explained that females are more likely to ask for help and therefore find more resources. It didn’t surprise me however that females were more likely to be supported by an older man.
Over all I enjoyed Chris’s discussion with the class. It was a change of pace that for sure.

Cedars Speaker

I really enjoyed the Cedars speaker on Tuesday! He was crazy. He had an intense way of speaking to the class that really made you want to listen. He talked about the different things that youth can fall into, especially when they are runaways or become homeless. He told us some truly eye-opening stories. What was most prevalent to me were the pictures of where some of these homeless people live. I guess, I have been totally oblivious so the amounts of homeless people in Nebraska. I had no idea we had people who ACTUALLY lived on the streets. It was truly amazing to see. It was also interesting to see the before and after meth pictures. It really showed how terrible the effects of drug abuse can be. It was slightly disgusted, but got the point across perfectly. Overall, great speaker. Well worth waiting the 15 minutes that he was late :)

Chris Webster

I got a lot out of lecture given by Chris. Whether the community wants to or not, we seem to sweep our problems under the rug. If we hide problems, then we can pretend that they don't exist. Chris gave me a new insight. There is a problem in Lincoln, and it is a big problem that needs to be addressed.

What I thought was most interesting was his commentary on drug use. I know that meth is a big problem here in Nebraska, but I never really thought that it was as bad as this. It was kind of a shocker to hear.

I think what needs to happen is to educate teens. Let them know about the repercussions of unprotected sex, educate them about what drugs really do to your mind and body, and give them the resources they need if they are being abused at home, or are experiencing family crisis. I think if we nip the problem in the butt before it surfaces, we will potentially save someone from themselves.

Homelessness in Nebraska

One thing that really stood out for me during Tuesday's class discussion was how homelessness is not just an issue for big cities. This seems to be coming up in many class discussions lately where we talk about things such as human trafficking, prostitution, as well as homelessness. These are all major societal problems that often we only think about in global terms. Such as things like this only happen in other countries or in places worse off than our own. However people in all places can get into bad situations - something we can not forget when we set out to work with people in our communities. The way he pointed out how often people speak of the homeless in very dehumanizing terms that in other contexts we would consider to be racism or homophobia. No matter what topic comes up when working with families, it is important not to think about the family in terms of a stereotype or prejudice, but in terms of the individuals within that family and what life is like for them, specifically. This is probably an incredibly important step for any communications you have with the family or individual in order to help them head towards a better situation.

homeless teens

I found class today very interesting. I cannot imagine have to live under a bridge in zero degree weather. It's crazy to think that there are many teens around the Lincoln area that are kicked out of their homes or runaway. The things that these teens do to make money are sad. I never knew what survival sex was before this lecture. I think it's so sad that both young men and women are to use sex as a way to get basic things such as food or shelter. I have never known a person that was homeless. The most I've ever come across is my friend got into many fights with his family and they bought him an apartment so he wasn't living with them anymore.

SES

Socioeconomic Status, or as we called it in class, Diversity, affect every aspect of a persons life: school, health etc. But that does not take away from the character of a person. This is very important to realize when dealing with an individual or a family.

All about the Benjamins... OR IS IT?!

The socio-economic "diversity" class discussion was quite interesting indeed. To me, it really put in perspective how objects like money can play a huge role on people's relationships. I have been truly lucky in life, I have a great stable family-- both emotionally and financially. I feel that even if my family wasn't so well off, that we would still be a great family. But then again, I haven't known anything else and haven't really faced problems like that before. Regardless of the fact that my family is financially secure at the moment, doesn't subdue the fact that the economy has been affecting my family, but we still remain strong. I made this comment in class, but this year my dad will only see 40% of his paycheck. That's less than half. And because of the economy, my dad has been working his tail off lately, whenever I am home I rarely see my dad-- this is extremely sad to me. My dad's company "pools" all of it's employees hours and divides paychecks up accordingly, and many of his colleagues cannot get as many hours as they have in the past, and my dad constantly finds himself picking up the slack. One of my dad's friends/co-workers even made a comment to him recently, "Thanks for my last paycheck!" It is satisfying to know that my dad works hard and is a great guy, but it really is tough to not see him very often, or even get to talk to him on the phone for that matter! My mom on the other hand has a job as a secretary one week a month at an elementary school. By no means is she the sole breadwinner, but she really enjoys her job. The school has to downsize next school year and my mom will not be getting her job back. She is really bummed, but she just told me she can play more tennis now (haaa). My older brother who lives in Vail, works at a resort hotel there and also scans lift tickets in the winter. He obviously won't be doing lift tickets in the summer, and his hotel job lets a good portion of the hotel employees "time off" during the summer in the low-season. My brother will be unemployed during that time, but he will be making more on unemployment than he does with his two jobs. 

And, in order to keep ends meet, my little brother has to work in a illegal child-labor sweat

 shop. It's facts. 

Kidding about the last part! 

Socioeconomic Diversity

In Tuesday's class we talked about socioeconomic diversity in families. The current economy is definatly affecting my family. My grandma is a widow. She lives in a four bedroom home and cannot afford to live there comfortably anymore. She is moving in with my family. However, I have four people in my family already and we live in a 3 bedroom home. We had to redo our basement so that hte family could come visit my grandma on Sunday's like they always do. We also had to redo the bathroom because it did not have a shower and she'll need one when she moves in. We had to redo the den and convert it into a room for my grandma. This took a toll on my families finances. My moms brothers and sisters had to step up and help my parents pay for these changes in our home to accomodate for my grandmother. It's good to know that Nebraska has a better economy than the rest of the country. It makes it seem a little better and easier. This will be a good thing to know when working with families who fight about money. Also telling them that money isnt the issue, but the way they both view money different is the issue, will help aid them in finding a way to compromise about the spending of money.

Money = Happiness?????

In my opinion money does not equal happiness. Sure, it gets you the things you need, like food, shelter, and clothes, but does it truly make a person happy? Unlikely. The people who save money for security are okay, but power is just silly. It's just silly. You don't have to be rich to be happy. If you make a decent living then you're doing better than most people. So...yeah. I, personally, don't want to be rich. I just want to be able to live in a nice place, be able to do what I love (even if I don't make a lot of money) and be able to have a cat. That's all. Money is not happiness. Love is the key to happiness...as long as it doesn't end up breaking you. That's it. At least that's my opinion.

Activities

When I babysit, we sometimes go the zoo or children's museum (they have passes) so that helps save them money. They are really fun and great activities for kids and adults. Usually we go to the park by their house. Sometimes we go to a bigger park which is great. Going to a different park once in awhile really opens up an experience. Not only a new environment, but bringing a ball or bubbles can make it even more exciting. Taking a walk in a more nature oriented place is great too because they can learn colors and textures in a natural environment. There are many great activites that cost money, but there are so many ways to be creative and take advantage of fun learning activities.

Tuesday's Class

I thought the topic for class on tuesday was really interesting. I haven't noticed the economy effecting my family very much, so I never really thought that the problems going on in the economy were effecting Nebraska like they were in the rest of the country. Though, after listening to everyone explained how their families were being affected it became a lot more real to me. The only way that it is affecting my family is through money that has been invested, but I guess that's a bigger deal than I thought. It's actually all very scary. Just listening to how everyone has experienced the economy makes me cringe. Hopefully, Obama can get our economy back on track, but doubtful. We're are too deep in doubt.

Money doesn't equal fun

In Tuesday's class, we discussed that some people use money as entertainment. The best memories that I have from my childhood are when my family would play boardgames together, going camping, and playing at the park. I think that most people would agree that these activities with their families are more memorable than going out to eat or going to the movies. I think that I need to take these things in to consideration for my own family, and for when I start my career. I plan to work with teenage mothers, and I think that oftentimes, these moms can feel distraught because they can't afford to go on vacations with their children, or plan a movie date every week. Personally, I feel that Lincoln does a good job at offering children's activities at little or no cost. The public library (along with other sponsors) head Lincoln Safari, where families can visit different locations in Lincoln for free and do a scavanger hunt of sorts. Also, the Lincoln Children's Museum offers some families with a subsidized year pass so their children can explore. Lincoln also has many great public parks, from Sunken Gardens, to Antelope Park, to Oak Lake. I'm sure there are some communities that don't offer as many of these free activities as others, and that is something that needs to be addressed. All children (and families) deserve the opportunity to go out and have fun, while bonding with relatives.

I think it is important to teach parents and children that money doesn't equate to happiness or fun. The fondest memories are when families are interacting with each other on a regular basis, and experiencing genuine fun.

The Meaning of Money

I think that one of the most important things to take away from Tuesday's class was that money means different things to different people. We've talked a bit about how money is more of a symbol than anything else before in class, but we really went into it on Tuesday. In order for every financial decision to be made, the person or people deciding have an idea about what money means, and why it's appropriate to spend/not spend it in each situation. I thought it was also important to note that the meaning of money changes depending on each situation.

I think that the fact that the meaning of money can change quickly supports the idea of using the term socioeconomic diversity instead of status. Like we said in class, status implies something static, that would use the same set features across the board. But this just does not work when talking about money - in different places the same amount of money can get you a very different amount of things. This is important for families who are planning on moving or getting jobs in new places, because even if wages end up being higher, the cost of living in that place might also be higher.

Socioeconomic Diversity

My family is very fortunate to say that both my parents have stable/secure jobs. Of course, nothing is guaranteed but the company they work for has given them reason to believe they have nothing to worry about. I'm not trying to tell you how lucky we are so don't take this the wrong way, because the economy is still very much effecting how we manage our money these days. Dr. Hollist asked during lecture on Tuesday, "how many of you have noticed that instead of going to Russ's Market you're getting groceries and things from Wal-Mart because it's cheaper?" I found myself nodding in agreement because we really have been working at making a buck go a long way. We have to be conservative in areas like that if we want money for 'a rainy day' or for some form of 'entertainment.' Since I hadn't really given this a thought before it became clear to me that my family is all pretty much in agreement with how we utilize our money in today's economy. The knowledge I gained from our lecture was that if an arguement were to break out over this, the way to handle it would be to communicate and compromise to find a positive solution instead of merely bickering about what the problem is.

economic hardships

I really liked when we talked about economics today and how they are affecting our families and ourselves individually. I thought that I had it bad but from some of the other stories I heard I realized it wasn't that bad and my heart went out to them. From my standpoint, I couldn't get a loan without a cosigner like I did last year so I had to have my parents sign a temporary cosigner sheet. Also, my dad works as a weapons repair man for the army and he keeps getting sent farther and farther away for work as others are not needed.

It is very difficult for families to weather financial difficulties with today's economy and it is very important that they remain strong and persevere. They need to focus on communication and realize why they are each spending money and try to find other ways to satisfy that need or come to a compromise. There are many people out there living in poverty and we need to be happy for what we have.

Socioeconomic Diversity

It has been a tough time in our economy currently. It was sad to hear all the stories about how company's are having to cut back on people. One thing that I found really interesting about class was how when much of a differences there is between men and women and how much income they have. I always knew that men tend to make more money than women, but I didn't know that the higher degree they had the more difference there was. Like our teacher said you would think that the more professional a person is the more they would care about work then gender. Another thing from class that was interesting was credit card debt. I have been in the process of getting a credit card, but now that I know the statistic I'm not sure I want one. I cannot believe that 75% of students that have credit cards use their student loans to pay them off. That is crazy and lead to a lot of debt quickly.

PRO CHOICE

I am a strong believer in pro-choice to all women. As a young mother I was put in a position of whether or not to keep my child at such a young age. There were pros and cons to both decisions. If I kept the baby I would be a young teen mom, unwed, and with no job or education to take me far in life. On the other hand if I aborted my baby, I could still be a kid not raising my own kid. I ultimately made the decision to keep my child and finish school. I find that having an education can potentially take me to my dreams. It’s twice as hard if not more to raise a child, attend the university full time and keep a full time job. But it is completely worth it.
It makes me so mad to listen to protestors talk about a abortions. Trust me, If you have not been put in the situation then most of you have no right to comment on the subject. What if a girl was raped by her father, or mom’s boyfriend? Would you want that girl to go through with the pregnancy and give that child a miserable upbringing? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t see abortion as a method of birth control. But there are females out there that just are not ready to raise a child. People make mistakes and we live with them. But there is no mistake about giving a women the right to decide whether or not she is able to take on the biggest responsibility there is which is being a mother.

Violence and Abuse

On Thursday in class I thought that it was interesting that Dr. Hollist brought both of his sons to help the class get into the discussion about abuse and violence. I thought this was good way to get the class to talk because we all wanted to know about his story of adoption. Also the effects of what abuse and violence have on children. It was interesting to me how children can bounce back from abuse and violence in the home. Another thing is the fact that men are more frequently abused than women but women are more frequently injured but I do not think that a lot of people know of this because they never think that men are being abused and it just women. I think some people in our class figured out that men are also abused too.

Pro-Choice

It didn't bother me that much when I heard the that the number of abortions were higher than that of births in 2007. I believe in pro-choice, so it doesn't matter to me whether or not a child is aborted or not. It's about the mother's choice. Death or a child's misery? I would never want to see my child, if I ever to have one, be miserable with his/her life. I suppose that I have a bias towards pro-choice because I'm not a huge fan of children to begin with. Oh, well, I believe that woman have a choice on whether or not they have children. So...yeah.

I was completely appalled about the number of abortions compared to births in 2007. I obviously would not tell someone what to do, it is one of the most personal decisions you can make. However, thinking about being 13 or 17 or even 18, making that kind of a decision is...insane to me. It really scares me that 13-year-old kids have sex (and younger and older). That is a huge decision in itself. But to choose to give or end a life at that mentality is baffling.

Guiding Teens

In another class I have just finished reading The Body Project. This book connected with our discussion of parenting adolescents, because it focused on the way that body issues have become central to teenage girls over history. While the society we live in might seem more free that the restricting society of the Victorian Age where women were required to wear corsets, this book argues that there are less protections for young girls. It pointed out that instead of focusing on becoming better people through acts and beliefs, girls now are more focused body image and the idea that looking better will make them "better." I think that this means that adolescents is a critical time for parents to stay involved in their child's life, even while their child is striving for independence.

We've talked before in class about how parents who voice being unhappy with their looks will have children that also are unhappy and try dieting. So even before adolescence parents should try working towards a positive environment. Still, it is important for this not to end when their child starts gaining more and more independence. This is where conversation comes into play. If the parent and their teen are able to really talk about issues, and not just in a "here is the one talk I'm giving you" way, I think that the teens will have a greater ability to reach out towards their parental resource when they need to. The Body Project's author, Joan Jacobs Brumberg will be speaking at the Union on Monday, and it will be interesting to hear her updated opinion about the pressures put on the teenager of today.

Teenagers

When we were talking about adolescent I thought about when I was in high school and I remember all the rules that my mother placed on me because I was the her only girl. I was so mad that my brothers did not have the same rules. Another thing we talk about was how teenagers are so self centered. In looking back to when I was a teenager in class I realized how self-centered I was and did not care about anyone but my self and friends.
I also thought during this lecture that he would be helpful to parents to get this information because I think this would help with there parenting skills and it would help them let go of the children. I think this would help them in the long road when they go to college because parents will be able to let them be independent and make their own mistakes.

Pro-Life All the Way

I was also devestated over the idea that there were more abortions than births in 2007 - (I believe that was the year Dr. Hollist said). It seriously makes me so sad to think that people can be so selfish... I just can't help but think of all the wonderful people we have deprived our world of because of this foolish decision to terminate an innocent little life. Who's to say the next baby that is aborted couldn't have been the one to find a cure for cancer or something along those lines?! And what about the women who can't have kids of their own but desperately want to - how insulting it must be for them to know that so many other fertile women can carelessly go out and end something so precious/fragile as life. Now, I know there are those women who maybe fall under unique circumstances but I hope anyone contemplating abortion would consider that even though the procedure might last a short-while, the decision to abort the child will haunt you forever. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I really wanted mine to be heard. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to convince more people to really start cerishing life - both born and unborn. It is a gift.

Teen Pregnany & Abortion

I thought that the lecture we had about teen pregnancy and abortion was really interesting. I thought that it was amazing to hear that in 2007 the number of abortions outweighed the number of births in the United States. It just baffles my mind that that can be a true statement, and the fact that it is makes me sick to my stomach. Obviousy, I'm a very conservative person and I don't believe in abortions at all, but the idea that there are more abortions than births is hard for me to even comprehend. How can that possibly be? And the fact that the amount of abortions have gone DOWN since 1986 is even worse! I also thought the information he gave us about teens watching sexual material on television was interesting. I guess I didn't realize that watching sexual media like that could have such an effect on the viewer and their future sexual endeavors. The correlation between teen pregnany and abortion was also educational. The fact that teen pregnancies have gone down to me would mean that more people are learning to use birth control and condoms, however then Dr. Hollist brought up the fact that maybe girls are just having more abortions, which totally crushes me because it's probably the case.

Teen Mothers

I am currently taking a sociology class focused on marriages and families. The chapter that I am reading now discusses families in the workplace and economic status. One point that I found particularly interesting about the chapter was that unwed teenage mothers were the poorest people in the U.S. I think that oftentimes when a teenage becomes a parent, their future goals seem to deteriorate and they take any kind of job they can get to raise their child(ren). Personally, I think that state agencies and parents are to blame. In my personal experience, my parents didn't provide me with the support that I needed. They talked down to me, belittled me, and treated me like I was a horrible kid. I think parents need to be educated about what to do when their child becomes a parent. That has to be one of the hardest things about being a parent; learning that your teenage daughter is going to have a baby and become a parent herself. And at the adolescent age, girls are reluctant to talk openly with their parents. Someone needs to intervene and educate so the family can survive.

When a teen mother gets on state aid, they do little to make her better for the future. Sure, they provide her with benefits that she could otherwise not afford: food stamps, medical assistance, daycare subsidies. But they fail to help these girls finish their education, strive for a degree, or teach them skills they could use in the workforce. What I hope to do when I obtain my degree is to help young mothers secure a future for themselves and their child(ren). I want to provide support for these girls that they otherwise don't have, teach them skills they can use to get a decent job, and help them get financial aid and scholarships that they didn't know existed. There is so much negativity shed on teenage mothers, but what is being done to stop it?

I think there is so much that needs to be done to help teen parents. If we don't help, who will?

parenting adolescents

adolescents. Where do I start? I remember those days; I was awkward and tried to please others and was really worried about my appearance. My friends were my main priority over my family and I was striving for independence. Then when I got my first car I felt free. I could go where I wanted when I wanted, after approving it with my parents of course, but I could get there all by myself.

Being the oldest child, my parents had a difficult time being flexible and letting me learn things on my own. I felt like I was being protected and although that is okay to a certain extent, it started to get excessive. Before I left for college my mom was just driving me insane and trying to control everything I did even more so than before. I couldn't wait to come to UNL and get away from her. It's funny how much has changed.

I think parents need to realize that their kids will grow up, they won't stay young forever and they need to to be independent adults. There definitely still needs to be boundaries, but parents need to realize that adolescents will push those boundaries as much as possible. They need to be there for their children and understand that the behavior will change and they will need to adjust rules and punishments accordingly. However, they need to have a certain amount of freedom to become strong, independent adults.

Adolescence

Adolescence is such a strange time! I remember how akward middle school and the early part of high school was. Developing a new body that I didn't quite fit into. Too old to play with barbies, but not old enough to drive. Wanting to be an adult, but not having the resources to be independent.
I have a younger sister who is just finishing up this stage of life. I see her argue with my parents over the stupidest things and wonder...was i like that??
now that I am older I realize that what my parents did was for my own personal safety and development. They really did know what they were doing!!
As someone who will be working with adolescents I realize how hard it will be to communicate to kids the authority their parents have and that what they are doing is right. I think maybe if I had someone there telling me they had gone through the same situation and my parents decision was not the end of the world maybe I wouldn't have pushed the boundaries as much.

domestic violence

In the family science reading this week it talked about domestic violence. This violence is so powerful and has such a control over people’s lives. My grandma was a victim of domestic violence by her second husband. For many years of my life no one ever mentioned him. It wasn’t until one day I was looking up my Grandma’s number in our old address book. I was confused to why she had a different last name. when I asked my parents no one really wanted to say anything. They don’t me the basic information and nothing more. It wasn’t until I was working on my family genogram that I asked any more questions about him. This was such a terrible part of my families life that I didn’t even know about. I still have never mentioned anything to my Grandma, I don’t think she wants me to ever know about it. I was surprised no one had mentioned it, but now that I think about it I have never mentioned it to my brother or cousins so I guess I’m doing that same thing they do.

Playtime

I have always seen play as a natural part of a child's day to day life but I have never really given a thought to its functionality. For that reason, I found our discussion interesting because it helped me to think out of the box and see that play is really just a form of communication. When we watch kids play or even interact with them ourselves, we can tune into themes that interest the child and can really come to understand how they perceive the world around them. This new concept has definitely impacted me and now I realize that if you really want a kid to open up to you all it takes is a little playtime! :)

My brothers....

My brothers are are 3 and 6 years younger than I am. I came from a single-parent household. My mother is terrific! Three kids, four individuals, one house, one income, a whole lot of food consumption. She is fantastic. However, due to this single-parent household, I, being the oldest, had a great deal of responsibility. Yes, it was hard. Yes, I missed out on a lot. I lost a great deal of social interaction during the years that I should have and now I find it difficult to talk to people. I do not blame my mother for that, though. Really, I don't.

By giving up a great, GREAT deal of my social life, I helped raise my brothers. I cooked, I cleaned, I got them up and ready for school. (This may tie into why I don't want children.) Despite everything, I enjoyed it. I learned how to be independent, how to cook, how to take care of myself and others.

Back to my point, the boys are nothing like me, okay, maybe that's a lie. My younger brother is like me a great deal, much more so than my youngest brother. We also get along great. He makes me laugh, I make him laugh. We insult each other, but it's all in good fun. It's playful banter. Anyway, my brothers and I are similar in many ways, just as we are similar to my mom. All in all, I have noticed that I rub off on my brothers and they rub off on me. And we have a blast and sometimes drive my mother insane or make her laugh and call us "goofballs." It's all loads of fun.

Parenting and having kids

I'm going to be perfectly honest. I hate children. And I am never going to be a parent, I lack that parenting instinct. I know that children as suppose to be our future and they are the a miracle. I have nothing against people who want to have children. Really, I don't. My best friend wants kids and to make me the Godmother. However, I believe that instead of just having a biological child, that couples should strongly think about adopting. There are many unfortunate children out there without a home or parents who love them. I know that you may miss that special bond that you get from having a biological child, but really. Think about it. There are homeless children all around the world. There are unloved children around the world. And I'm sure that they would no doubt kill, figuratively, to have a loving family. If I were to even consider having children, I would consider adoption before I would even want to think about having a biological child. So...yeah, think about it or not. Whatever.

My Little Brother

In class on Tuesday we talk a little about how the older sibling teaches the younger sibling with out even knowing it. I never thought about this till now, but my little brother use to do everything I did when I was little including playing ballerina. As we got older I use to follow him to though. I would sit around and watch him play video games because he was so much better than me. I think we both look to each other for a lot of things. I think he is having a hard time with me being off at college. Especially since now he is the only child at home so he has all the attention focused on him. I think he is still learning from me in a way. He has been wanting to go to Lincoln. I want to be there for him and be the best role model I can be.

Dress up

In class Tuesday we discussed dress up. Thinking about dress up brings up so many fun memories I had as a child. I could probably think of a million things I chose to dress up as, but my overall favorite was school teacher. I have one older sibling and one younger sibling. My older sister would usually take charge of me and make me do all her crazy assignments. When I had the chance or when my sister was not around I would start playing teacher to my little brother. There was just something about being older and making my own rules that gave me joy out of make-believe. I got to tell my little brother to spell this and do that and follow me here and go get that. It was even better when he actually listened to me.
Now that I am older and have a child myself, I notice how much fun my son has when he is in dress up land. One day he is superman and the next day he is my own personal chef. We have made blankets and towels and clothes into capes just for his enjoyment. If I sit there and observe him I can tell that he really is in his own little world. He has the most fun when his dad and I play along as superwomen and baker. After we talked about how children use hats and glasses and shoes to make believe, I noticed that, that very night my son wore my glasses. He came into the living room and pretended he was “mommy.” That glasses symbolized me and being an adult.

Becoming a Parent

I thought it was interesting when we were talking about why people want to become parents. I also thought it was quite funny that this was hard to research but Dr. Hollist made a great points about why most people have kid because of the joy it brings them and the unconditional love they get from having a child. Most of the effect of have a child is negative but I think all love and joy that a child bring weighs out all the negative. Another thing it is hard for me to hear that other people do not want to have kid because I think they are missing out on something great!!! But I have to respect there decision as a professional!

Test

So all I cant think to write about today involves the test. I'm hoping that we can get them back in class today. I'm getting pretty nervous about my semester grades, unfortunately they isn't one class that I will for sure have an A in. I was counting on this one, but it's not proving to be very trusting. I've done alright so far in this class, but I really, really need on A on this test in order to bring my grade up. Also, I'm hopeing that Dr. Hollist decides to give our class that extra credit assignment, because I'm sure everyone could use it and would greatly appreciate it! Besides that, I just pray to God that we get our tests back today because I'm just tired of waiting!!!

Becoming a Parent

When I was talking to the family I interviewed, I focused on the decisions they made around becoming parents. Like mentioned in class, I found that it was easy to talk about the concrete "negative" changes that occurred, but much more difficult to give concrete examples of the postives. At the same time, when I asked them if they would make the same decision again, they pointed out that they would love to have more children, but feel like they waited too long to have the first. They both agreed that having a daughter was the best thing for them.

We talked a lot in class about how the transition to parenthood can be potentially overwhelming, and almost everything changes when a child is brought into the picture. Through talking with the family I begin thinking that this is true no matter what part of life you are in. The family I talked to felt that they were very settled when they decided to have a daughter, and that it would have been a lot more difficult if they were still young and wanting to go out every night. Still, they faced the same shifts in focus from themselves to their child that all new parents go through.

Infertility

I thought our brief conversation about infertility was quite interesting. Almost everyone in the class knew a couple who was having problems conceiving. However, we still seem to criticize couples about how soon after marriage they will have kids.

In my family, my cousin got married and they had a number of problems conceiving before turning to invitro by which they conceived twin boys. They decided to try invitro again the second time and during their consultation the doctor said he couldn't help them.....because she was already pregnant!

In my sociology class right now I am writing a paper on parenting magazines and one of the criteria I have to talk about is infertility, if the magazine covers it, and what they say. Infertility is becoming a common place occurrence and it happens more often than we think.

We as a society need to back off and realize that it does happen and that it is normal.

Becoming A Parent

I think Cr. Hollist brought up a very interesting point about the reasons why people want to have kids. It's so hard to pin point the exact reason! The effects of children all seem negative, but for some reason, people still want them...I know that I myself want to have kids when I get married. I have always wanted to be a mommy, and that's about as complete an answer as I can come up with. There is just something about kids that pull on people's heartstrings. Raising children may be a tough job, but a huge reward will come in the end. Family is bond by unconditional love. And for me, there is no bond stronger.

However, as a professional, it is important to realize and respect that not everyone feels that way. It's my personal feeling, but I do understand that being a parent is not everyone's cup of tea.

My great aunt and uncle were unable to have kids and they are old enough that fertility treatment wasn't the norm, so they accepted they wouldn't have kids. They were both teachers, so every year they had many many kids fill their classrooms. The saw the kids during the school day, but when they went home they spent all their time together as a couple. It worked well for them!

Transitions

On Thursday, we discussed transitions into parenthood. When I first became a parent, I had an idea of how my life would change, but was suprised at how drastically it would change. I was very young when I had my son, and had to endure going to school during the day and working a job at night. I had absolutely no time for a social life. With my free time, I would spend time with my son, and after he fell asleep, I would do my homework. I thought that having a baby was supposed to be fun, but it was very chaotic and demanding; much more than I would have ever thought. Not only did I give up my friends, but I also gave up my sleep. At times, I was so sleep deprived that I thought I would soon go crazy. After my son had finally began to sleep nights, I was able to catch up on well needed rest. Along with no sleep, I didn't necessarily have in-laws to deal with, but I had my parents. They would offer their advice and critique every move I made. I always took it as criticism, but now I know that they did it out of love.
Another transition that I had to make into parenthood was proving to everyone that I could be successful. Oftentimes, my family doubted my abilities in school (and I always thought that my teachers did as well). I had to prove to everyone that I could finish school, and that I could do so with honors and scholarships. Having my son certainly gave me that extra drive that I needed.
I know how hard it is to have a child while in high school. There are so many pressures surrounding you. You have to make it to class even though you only slept for 3 hours, you have to take on the added responsibility of school and providing for your child emotionally, physically, and financially. You also have to think about and plan for the future (if you still have the self esteem left in you from being suddenly labeled as an "outcast"). You have to gain the trust and support from your parents who may still have vent up anger and disappointment. Since I have lived through this and I have succeeded, I feel that in my professional life, it is necessary for me to work with teenagers who are pregnant and those that are parents. There are so many odds against these girls, but with support, trust, and skills, they can overcome these odds. I feel I would be able to relate to these girls and build a positive relationship which can give them the drive to go on and become not only great parents, but also carry out their life goals. While I am not an advocate for teenage pregnancy, I still feel that it doesn't necessarily have to be a negative thing. And that is something that I can bring to the table in my future career.

Parenthood

This last Thursday, the discussion in class revolved around parenthood and the decision we make before and after starting a family. When Dr. Hollist asked the class, why do we have children? I thought to myself the many reasons why I had my son at such a young age. When this question is applied to everyone it is not always answered the same way. When I was pretty young, I was a naïve girl and got mixed into some bad choices. When I found out I was pregnant I had no idea what to do with myself and this new baby inside me. The day my family found out, they immediately took me to an abortion clinic. When I was there, the nurses and doctors took me to a separate room to ask me the question of whether or not I wanted the procedure to take place. In the end I went with my heart and decided to keep my now four year old son.
So I honestly had no answer for Dr. Hollist. I was young at the time and still am, but I will never understand parenthood completely. I do know that being a parent is the most fulfilling role I play will ever play in my life. At the time when I decided not to abort my son I told myself that I needed to prepare for the biggest job of my lifetime. Even till this day I can never be fully prepared to take on everything it takes to raise a child. Being a parent involves so many responsibilities and never even had thought of. That is why I am constantly learning how to be a better and stronger parent every day.

Conflict Resolution

I think that the conflict resolution steps we talked about are very helpful. You have to identify the problem, talk to eachother about what each wants, negotiate in a certain way, vocalize what's going to happen with the negotiations, and then, re-negotiate if need be. This is very helpful because it is a calm way to talk out the issue. Everyone can get their wants and needs out of the discussion. Then, after talking everything out, the issue is dealt with and the couple can move on. It's very helpful to know this because when working with families that hold grudges and can't get over issues, I can give them good advice in how to get over the conflict and have a happy marriage. This would help them with future conflicts also.

Parenthood

Since we will be talking about parent hood in the next chapter i thought i would talk about it in my blog. I'm also taking a parenting class this semester and I'm excited that we are going to be discussing it in this class. I think one of the most important thing we will be discussing is parenting styles because that play a major role on how your child might turn out. I hope this is in the next chapter because it would be beneficial to all the student who are planning on having children in the future.

Anger Myths

We all probably know a thing or two about anger just from experiencing it ourselves, but we have to ask ourselves if our concepts are fact or crap. To me, the most interesting myth about anger and conflict that we talked about in class was "anger is caused by others." It surprised me because how often do we hear people saying, "Ugh! You make me so mad sometimes!"? A lot. In fact, just last night I heard my roommate's boyfriend tell her those exact words and naturally I had to chuckle. We are all blinded by anger sometimes, so much that it makes us blurt out this kind of nonsense. The fact is anger is a feeling. Sure there might be things a person does to upset you, but you are the only person in control of your attitude. This concept will serve as a good reminder for me the next time something happens to invoke my own feelings of anger.

Angerrrrr

Okay, this is technically my first blog due to complications on both sides of this whole blogging thing, so...here it goes.

I always thought that people could make you angry. I understand now that you only allow a person to make you angry and that you have a choice. Unfortunately for me I have little control over my emotions so it's easy for me to get angry or to be happy. I guess it's like mood swings...but all the time. But little things don't set me off. Yeah....

I, also, thought it was interesting to learn how it's not okay to just let your anger out so that you feel better. I mean, sometimes it helps, but you only feel better for a short while and you can develop nasty habits when you release your anger, such as hitting a pillow or something like that. Not okay to hit things. Things have feelings too! Ooooh, boldness! Awesome! Anyway...that's pretty much it until I make put the other four posts that I'm allowed to make up.

Until then!

Did you just break your arm?? Ugh...

Ohhh communication this week! Hooray! One of the most pithy and important statements that has been made in class about communication ( in my opinion) was, "You cannot NOT communicate." Very true, very true. This is not just applicable in the relationships either. FOR EXAMPLE, I work at a gym where I coach mini-cheerleaders. Their ages range from 6th grade to sophomores in high school. One of the classes I coach is quite large, there are many girls in it. And it was a busy day at the gym, and I was the lone coach for that specific class. I don't mind, and just hope the girls are listening to me for their own benefit. I was instructing them on what stations they were going to go to, and what they were to do at each station. There was a group of younger girls goofing off in the back of the group, and although I tried to correct this many-a-time, at some point I just kind of had to roll my eyes. As I had them disperse, I would rotate with different groups so I could maintain responsibility of everyone. Let me just mention, that kids are really NOT my cup of tea. This may seem odd being that I am enrolled in a family science class, but... I really just don't care for kids. On with the story, so I went to check up on the group who had been goofing off in the back while they were on the trampoline. One girl in particular, Sophie, was on the trampoline at the time. She was doing her "tricks" very incorrectly and just messing around on the tramp. Mid-sentence, literally right as I was telling her to knock it off and get off the tramp... SNAP/POP.  Oh man.

Her arm just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time thus causing it to bend in a very obscure angle. Now, I had competed in gymnastics for eight years and done cheerleading for six, I have seen MANY, MANYYY girls break arms because of carelessness. So you could say I have become a big "de-sensitized" to the situation, and I don't panic because then everyone else panics. While I was mid-sentence and mid-step, and saw that fun little arm-crack, I just kind of knew it was about to happen and shook my head. Of course little Sophie looks down and starts screaming like a banshee when she realizes that angle is not quite right for an arm. As she was carted off to the hospital, I gathered my team and calm them all down. Then all I say is, "Pay attention when I am talking to you and giving you directions, listen to me and that won't happen. Go back to your stations." 

And that was that. 

Moral of the story: 

Don't listen and you... BREAK AN ARM!!!!!!!!

Communication Changes

One thing that has stood out to me when thinking about communication is how I don't communicate the same with everyone I interact with. Thinking about this with family systems theory, I think it is because of the different roles I have in different relationships and the hierarchies in place. With my parents I don't always communicate as assertively as I do with other people, because even if we disagree I know that if I press my point too much it will just result in a fight.

Another reason my communication styles are different in different relationships probably has to do with the fact that I tend to have more of a validating approach to communicating. I have dated conflict-avoiding people in the past, and we did not have good communication. When I wanted to talk, they were trying to avoid the topic. I have noticed that when I disagree with some of my volatile friends I am more hesitant to say something, because I know that they will take the argument to a level that is higher in anger than I'm willing to go. Luckily, my partner now is also validating, and so far we have been able to have very positive conflict resolution when conflicts due arise.

Cmmunication

Communication in the marriage brought up a lot of issues in my mind. Recently my fiancé and I have had a bad case of terrible communication. We have the tendencies to argue consistently on a daily basis. Then we both are too tired to argue, it’s like we ignore the entire issue. I’ve read about how to have better communication with my partner, buts it’s far more challenging to actually do. I want to work on our relationship in order to become stronger couple, but I honestly don’t know where to start. Recently we have had issues with power struggling. Either we butt heads over how things should be done a certain way, or we argue about who is to make even the smallest decisions.
I know I want to help us grow in our relationship. Like it is said time and time again, communication is key to a strong relationship, but how exactly do couples get better at communication. If things are said to one another in a wrong tone of voice, the whole message you were trying to send completely becomes irrelevant. I know that we both play key parts on trying to work things out. I honestly think we need either couples counseling or some form of therapy. I feel like I am at my wits end trying to figure things out.

Communication

Studying for the test made me go over again the importance of communication in a relationship. Thinking about my relationships or even my friends' relationships made me realize even more that communication in the basis of any relationship. It is easy to pin point why a relationship doesn't work when the process is always the same. The process is something that needs to be worked on as a couple if the relationship has any real chance of working.

Parenting Styles

Since we just took at test and haven't covered any new material, I thought I would blog about a topic I discussed in another class. We covered parenting styles and looked at the characteristics of the parent and child. I think it's really important to know them and how they affect people, especially since I am going to be a teacher and working with kids and their parents. For the most part I would say that my parents are authoritative, which is a democratic way of going about parenting kids. The listen to what I have to say, but whatever they say their decision is, just is, no buts about it. :) It's seems to have worked well for my family, but I understand how the other three are beneficial to different people in different situations.

communication & cohabitation

I know we just had a test over the recent material, but I did want to look back at some of the material that I thought was extra interesting. I really liked how much he tended to focus on communication when it came to marriage and relationships. I think that communication is one of the number one things necessary to keep a relationship, and without it a couple is doomed to failure. I mean, if two people can make a relationship work without good, positive communication, good for them, but obviously there is something seriously wrong in the relationship. I also thought that it was interesting when we talked about the four different types of cohabitation. I guess, I've never really thought a lot about why people cohabitate. There was the test cohabitation, where couples try living with each other before they decide to move further in their relationship. There was the conveinience factor, when people cohabitate for social, sexual, or economic reasons. There is also coindepent living, when people are dating, or just friends, etc. And lastly, we talked about cohabitation of emancipation; living without the parents. I suppose, I've just never thought that much into cohabitation, but now that I know a little bit more about it, it all comes together.

Brain Connections and Early Interventions

Tonight I went to a lecture presented by Dr. Jack Shonkoff. In his presentation, he discussed the process of proliferation of connections in the brain and pruning. His point here was that if children aren't exposed to certain experiences early in life (being read to and talked to), they won't have a strong foundation to support later development. He emphasized that the sensitive periods in the first five years of life are extremely important for how a person will function in adulthood, and what they will bring to society. Dr. Shonkoff suggested that we have a breakthrough in technique and ideas to help children in their very early years with mental health issues. He proposed that it would be more efficient for society and the economy if we start treatments and programs at this age, rather than spending most of our time and money with counseling in the teen and adult years, juvenile detention centers, and jails and prisons. When he suggested this, it just seemed to make sense to me. Especially the point he made that if we take charge of children's mental health in the early years, then we would have less crime and more productive citizens contributing to society.
I enjoyed this lecture a lot. I felt that Dr. Shonkoff was right on target when he suggested early interventions. We learn time and time again about sensitive periods in child development, but now it is up to us to do something important and helpful in the field. But what can be done right now? From experience I know that trying to reason with a two year old is next to impossible, but I have the belief that it can be done. We need to intervene and help relieve some of the stress that low income children experience, we need to make sure that all children have the opportunity to be in programs that stimulate all areas of development, we need to teach families how to be positive role models for each other, we need to step in and we need to do it now. Future generations are counting on us. I am counting on us.

Pedro Zamora

Tonight, just like every night, I have the tv on while I'm doing my homework. Usually I am more productive with the tv on but tonight I got involved in a movie. It's about Pedro Zamora and his battle with HIV; surprisingly enough this movie is on MTV. I know its test week so we don't really have any new information to blog about and last time we had a test he said he didn't care what we blogged about but seeing this movie just really impacted me to talk about it. I think it is a very touching and informative movie/documentary on his life as an activist. I know we didn't talk much about HIV or AIDS in our class but it is still an ongoing struggle today and it is important for people to be informed. I recommend watching this movie just to understand another point of view.