Understanding the theories of what makes a strong family is very important to me as a student who plans on becoming a Couples and Family Therapist as well as someone who wants to better understand her own family. I was pleased to find that many of the components I had already felt make a strong family were included in these theories, as well as finding that my ideas could be expanded. What I would like to always remember and hope that others always remember is that not every strong family has to be composed of the same number and type of individuals. As a lesbian, I plan on having an equally strong family as my heterosexual siblings.

The component that interests me the most out of the list of traits of a strong family is the ability to cope with stress and different crisis. I think this stands out most to me because components such as time together and appreciation are a lot easier to be committed to when there is little stress or no major crisis going on. However when crisis occur, these other strengths are tested. It is interesting to see how having a spiritual well being as well as commitment to one another can help guide families into more positive communication when crisis occurs.

One example of this from my own family was when my grandmother died. During her life she kept her 8 kids connected by always being the central figure people would gather around. It had appeared as though my mother’s siblings were committed to one another and had a high level of positive communication because even though they were busy with separate lives they were together a lot and seemed to enjoy being around one another. However, when my grandmother passed away, my aunts and uncles seemed to drift apart. This showed that possibly the true bonds that were holding them together were less of a commitment to one another but more of a commitment to their mother. Still, eventually those who still were involved with the Catholic Church – my mother included – grew closer to one another by attending Mass together and visiting with one another after. Also this spiritual bond helped them cope with the loss, which decreased the amount of stress created.