family strengths

I really liked the lecture from Tuesday on family strengths. Everyone, as a part of a family, is always curious about what makes a good family. I was able to relate to this lecture in two main ways. First, we talked about spiritual well being which also overlapped with coping with stress.

When my little brother was five, he came down with viral meningitis. My parents and the doctors had no idea what was wrong with him, one doctor even gave him medicine for an ear infection. After he couldn't keep down his food or medicine, had a temperature of 102, and a bad headache, my parents took him to Children's Hospital in Omaha, which is about 45 minutes from us. As soon as he got there, my brother fell on the floor in the lobby and had a seizure. After being admitted and diagnosed, the doctor told my parents there was a good chance he wouldn't pull through, and if he did, he would be severely paralyzed physically and/or mentally. We were devastated as a family, we didn't know what to do. My brother was even blessed in case he didn't pull through. He didn't even look like a little boy all hooked up to machines and wires. That's when my family turned to a higher power for help and never looked back. After a few weeks of being in ICU, my brother started to feel better and after about a month, he was back to normal. He pulled through with no side effects. I believe this situation made us cooperate as a family and helped us cope with our stresses and made us all stronger individuals as well.

However, the prospering family I belonged to didn't last long. When I was about 12, my parents decided to divorce. It was hard on all of us, especially my brother and I. My parents were accusing each other of things left and right. They wanted us to take sides. I didn't know who to believe. My mom gave us the whole "its not your fault" talk but that wasn't the issue for me. I was slammed with this awful surprise! I didn't even realize, as a carefree young person, that anything was even wrong at all with my family. I had always considered my family the role model that everyone else should follow. There were some countless nights after that where my parents would just argue and yell back and forth. In class, someone brought up that the families all seemed to run away from this issue and no one wanted to step up. I disagree with this statement. I stepped up, the best I could at 12, but I stepped up none the less. I felt like I had to take care of my little brother and be there for him and explain to him what was happening and not to be afraid. I am his older sister, I am supposed to protect him. I also stepped up and was the negotiator between them. It shouldn't have been my job, but it happened. I grew up a lot over the next few years. I don't feel like we stepped us as a family to work through the problems, because our family was severed. However, I think after the hype was over, my parents both stepped up separately in their own ways to take care of my brother and I and mend our wounds.

Because of these two completely different experiences in my life, I learned how to cope with stress in different ways, and how to be that helpful, supportive family member. And now, I wouldn't trade my family for any other in the world. My parents are both remarried and I love my step parents to death. After talking about the components of a strong family, I believe we have those strong connections, I just have two strong families instead of one.